The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
