She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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