Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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