And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize