gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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