Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
