Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She told me I should be a condom model.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
