Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
