It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
