I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
