Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
