Rock
Scissors
Fuck
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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