U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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