I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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