Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
