I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize