kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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