Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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