Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
