hotel room ftw
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
