3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
