Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
