Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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