Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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