OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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