my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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