I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
