Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
