my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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