too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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