that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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