This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize