I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
