he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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