I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
