k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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