I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
