I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
