the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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