New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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