and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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