Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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