Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
