I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
