i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
