Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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