Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
