i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
