do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
