Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
