these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
