that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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