i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
