its not stalking. its research.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize