i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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