He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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