Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
