Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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