she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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