flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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