I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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