**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize