8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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