4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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